The Pig Demon Series – Episode II, Rescue from Pig Prison

Yes, the pig came to us by the way of prison break. Several years ago yours truly, Farmboy, was in dire need of a sidekick (a rather important component of a dynamic duo.) After several failed interviews and a near-death experience with a Jack Russell on a leash that can only be equated to flying a kite in a hurricane, I finally conceded to continue my quest at the local pig prison. Pig prison is more commonly known as the dog pound, animal shelter, puppy prison, canine hooch, or many other possible variants referred to in your neck of the woods.

Upon our first visit to the containment area, I ran into the little beast standing behind her cell wall shaking like a crack addict on a nine day straight. All of the other dogs were jumping and barking and turning circles all calling out "Pick me!", "Pick me!", but not her. No, she just stood there with her little brown eyes blinkingly fixed on me. She was the smart one. I could tell right away there was something different about her. I extended my outstretched hand into her cell and she immediately rested her head in my palm. So sweet, so innocent, so beguiling…

We now enter the mind of our little inmate at the time of incarceration:

[Hmmm. I’ve got this figured out. The other dogs think they’re so smart with their jumping, incessant barking and that horrible howling. It is no wonder why they get left behind. Nope, the only way to win a sugar daddy is to put on the sweet, innocent, codependent look. Hey, here comes a sucker now. Champagne wishes and caviar dreams, here I come! Queue the poor, freezing matchgirl.]

I'm sweet, and innocent, and charming, and wonderful, and a perfect little angel, and delightful, and cuddley, and cute, and soft, and terrific, and loyal, and oh did I mention sweet? Just look at that angelic glow!

Well, we worked our way through the release papers and were able to spring the pig from her incarceration. I’m not sure why, but like purchasing a handgun there was a five-day waiting period prior to release. I guess they expected I was going to get the pig out and immediately kill someone with her. Please understand that I would never do anything crazy like that, however I do now know that she could have accidentally gone off. Unfortunately, there are no safety courses for the proper handling of volatile pig-dogs.

We transported her our home where she immediatly made herself at home; commanding handfed meals, taking over the bed and couches, shunning our other "more inferior" dog, and finding her happy spot on the carpet.

Pig Heaven is what I call it. Cool mornings laying in the hammock with my new slaves. My plan is coming together so nicely.

As you are starting to guess, things are not all roses with the pig. I've been hinting to a much darker side than has been presented in the story to date. If the reader is mentally prepared, we will next journey down the dark tunnel into the deepest recesses of the pig's alter world. One not filled with roses and glittery sweetness. Enter the pig posessed.

Is that a little pig-venom dripping from her left fang? Are her eyes really glowing green?

Stay tuned for the next gripping episode of The Pig Demon Series as I go behind the scenes to perform a psychological breakdown of the pig, including a look into her never before exposed past. All included in Episode III - When good pigs go bad!

- Farmboy.